Lipstick Saturday
by Coffee Noodles
Summary: ...and why Sam doesn't come anymore. SEDDIE implied.


**A/N: **I really should be working on my chapter fic, iGoToAConcert, but a couple of days ago I got this idea when I was vacuuming (I always get my best ideas when I'm vacuuming) and I thought, what the heck, I'll stick it out there. JSYK, Carly's name is never mentioned, but it's in her POV.

**Disclaimer:** I don't own a single bloody thing.

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You'd be surprised how not-girly Girl Time with Sam can be. It's true. She sleeps over at my house three or four times a week and not once since, like, January have we watched a chick flick while painting nails and talking about boys. That's why we started a new tradition - Wendy and I did, I mean. Well, Sam comes along with us, too, because we make her. I'm not entirely sure she didn't just sit around texting Freddie and Gibby the first couple of times, but she's been getting more into it these days. After today, though, I'm pretty sure she'll never come again. Too bad. _I _had a great time. But let me tell you how it went.

Okay, so we call it 'Lipstick Saturday,' and we do it once a month. Wendy and Sam and I hit the mall for some hardcore girl time: bra-building, manicures, trying on dresses we have no intention of buying, eating Greek food (don't ask me why Greek food is girly - it just is), and of course, the all-important Glitter Glossing. Now Glitter Gloss has got to be the second foofiest store I've ever seen. It has every superfluous cosmetic product you could think of, from a range of foundations for skin tones I've only seen on Mars and in Wisconsin, to an extensive pick-your-color, pick-your-flavor, pick-your-glitter lip gloss buffet.

At the time in question, Sam was mysteriously absent, while Wendy and I were in the lotion-sniffing section, debating the merits of Preppy Peach versus Paradise Pear.

"But Peach is so, you know, sticky and fruity smelling," argued Wendy. "Pear is more subtle."

"Mmm... I think it's _too _subtle, though. I don't think you could even smell it when it's on. But I agree that Peach is kinda sticky. How about-" I scanned the tray of testers and found a pink bottle. "- Cheery Cherry?"

We sniffed it and simultaneously crinkled our noses at its grossness. That's when Sam came bounding around the corner, holding a little fuchsia Glitter Gloss purchase bag.

"Hey guys, check this out. It's insane!" She extracted a clear bottle of body spray from the bag, unscrewed it, and shoved it unceremoniously under my nose. Startled, I took a hesitant sniff, expecting to smell mashed potatoes or a burrito. I was pleasantly surprised by a mild, soapy scent with a trace of cinnamon. It was sort of familiar, but I couldn't quite place it. But I was confused. By no stretch of the imagination was this scent "insane." I frowned, and Sam snatched away the bottle for Wendy to smell.

"Uh, that's nice," admitted Wendy, her face mirroring my confusion. "But what's the big deal?"

"You're kidding, right?" Sam looked back and forth between us, her mouth open in a little smile of disbelief. We looked back at her in bewilderment.

"Are you okay, Sam?" I tapped her playfully on the forehead, but she ignored me.

"Dude, it smells exactly like Freddie!" she explained with wide, I'm-stating-the-obvious eyes. Wendy and I exchanged looks of confused amusement.

"What?" demanded Sam, still looking incredulous at our stupidity.

"It smells like Freddie?" I repeated.

"Yeah, like, all the time - that's how he smells. I mean, don't you recognize it?"

"Um, no, not really, and you seriously bought this because it smells like _Freddie_?"

"What? It... it's a free country." Oh, now she was being defensive. She took the bottle back forcefully, stowing it in her pocket.

Wendy piped up, "Aren't you always saying how Freddie smells worse than a pile of your Uncle Buster's dirty socks?" I could see a smirk like mine growing on Wendy's face.

"N- I just... My uncle's name is Buzz!" The color was rising in her cheeks. Oh, Sam.

I shared a grin with Wendy, then teased, "You must spend a lot of time in Freddie's personal space to know his smell so well."

Sam stuttered incoherently, her face growing redder by the minute. "No, it's... _you _said it smelled nice!" She pointed a finger in Wendy's face.

"Aw, you think Freddie smells nice!" Wendy snickered, unperturbed.

Sam mouthed wordlessly. Her face was officially scarlet now and her hands were balled in fists at her sides. Her eyes were narrowed and she spoke in a low, venomous voice, "If either of you says one word, so help me- "

"Oh, don't worry, Sam," I laughed. I picked up my purse and strode past her.

"Yeah, we wouldn't dream of telling Freddie," said Wendy, following me to the cashier's table with Paradise Pear in hand, " - that you love him," she added over her shoulder, and we pranced away giggling, leaving a very silent Sam behind us.

And that's why I have a strong feeling that Sam's going to be "sick" or "moved to Guadalajara" four weeks from today when next month's Lipstick Saturday rolls around. I hope she doesn't hate me... But Wendy and I won't bug her about it too much. After all, we wouldn't want to interrupt whatever it is Sam and Freddie do on sick days in Guadalajara, if you know what I mean.

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**A/N: **So yeah. Raaandom. Review or something? More importantly, everybody watch iMust Have Locker 239 at 8PM Eastern today!


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